Do The Talking

Do The Talking: Do we really need to try so hard to be socially active? (social anxiety related)



So pretty much a while ago Mikaela @ The Well-Thumbed Reader (btw, her blog is awesome, you should really check it out!) shared her 11 most secretive blogging confessions (trust me, you’re gonna relate to almost all of that), and she mentioned social activity as one of them, so it immediately triggered a thought in me, and that’s how I came up with today’s discussion topic. Many many opinions are very much appreciated, because I’m seriously interested in what you folks think on this!

So the concern of today is:

Do we really need to try so hard to be socially active?

What I’ve noticed on myself for the past two months is a significant decrease of my own social activity on bookstagram. Sure I’m still keeping up with blog posts, but what about instagram? When I first started it, I posted up to 3 times a day, and I felt very excited joining the bookish community.

However, as time passed, I found myself less and less active. Yes, sure I do have monthly goals on achieving stats, but do I really care about whether I get them or not within the stated time?

If you’ve read my previous post on bookstagram hardships, then you know I’m that type of person who had many concerns about social activity. As time went by, and my promises to myself (and my followers) to try to be more active became less and less real, I started questioning: “Do I really have to be such a tryhard? Do I really have to torture myself to that point?”

Because every time I push myself to be more active – try to seek more posts/bookstagrams, try to comment more on other bookstagrams, try to post more again – I find myself less and less interested in being active – not yet to the point of abandoning the bookstagram completely, but still. Come on, we all know the very first unspoken rule of whatever kind of instagram you’re running – do it as you like for yourself. Yes, sure, in order to gain thousands of followers, hundreds of likes and dozens of comments, you need to be equally active. But tell me the truth: is there anyone who can spend 2 to 3 FULL hours just for instagram activity every day? Because I seriously can’t think of any other way to keep up with 300+ accounts I follow considering that shitty instagram feed algorithm when will you allow us to choose, damn instagram ><

Also, a reminder: I’m here, existing in this damn world with a damn social anxiety that is completely not easy to cure. Why I should be pushing myself so hard to gain numbers? Why I should be forgetting that it’s the quality that matters, not the quantity?

Nobody’s telling you that you have to be very active. Commenting on every single post, even if you know nothing on the topic the OP talking about – what’s the point? Not knowing what to write in a caption so it attracts people to communicate – leave it until next time, why struggling as if it’s the end of the world if you don’t post right now?

I recently stopped visiting bookstagram as often as I used to do in the beginning – I even feel lazy hearting every post I like (and if you see my activity closely, I’m one of those who gives likes very easily, compared to commenting). Should I feel embarrassed of myself? – Nope. Tell me at least ONE reason why I should be.

I am a sociopath, and it’s a fact. And I don’t feel ashamed for feeling dozed off from bookstagram world where people talk about new books everyday. I even stopped caring about posting at least once a day so I won’t lose my audience, because anyways the response level is way too low in my own case, and because on some days I absolutely don’t feel like doing social activity. Plus, I have many other things in real life I’d like to do instead of sticking my nose onto instagram.

I stopped caring about my stats. Yes, I still feel a bit sad when my numbers still haven’t increased much, but I know the reason behind that, and I don’t want to push myself just in order to get something only visually pleasing that is a number of followers. I don’t want to bring out the bad quality to get cheap stats. I’m not on bookstagram for that.

Oh, and it’s actually been a while since I’ve last posted on bookstagram, so I better go upload something. 🙂

choi minki fierce af
Choi Minki is such a hardworker hahaha~


Are you concerned about your social activity and how you can increase it/or actually reconsider your preferences?

It’s really interesting to see the change in your mindset once you get into something for a while! At first, I was also really concerned about getting good stats and getting that “fame”, but then I remembered that I’m really bad at time management, and that I have other more important concerns to take care of, so… Why having one more?

Really looking forward to your thoughts and opinions, guys! I truly believe that it’s an interesting topic to discuss, so… hit me with those comments!

Love you all,

Make sure to find me on InstagramTwitterFacebook, and Goodreads.

10 thoughts on “Do The Talking: Do we really need to try so hard to be socially active? (social anxiety related)”

  1. i absolutely relate to that! in my case, twitter is the one i feel less comfortable with. basically, if you search for posts on how to “grow your blog”, one of the tips will always be: be present on social media, especially twitter. but, somehow, i can’t feel comfortable there.
    i do have a personal twitter account, and even though i’ve had that for years, i have no friends, because i really don’t talk to people that much. but, somehow, when it comes to my book-blogging account, i feel pressured to talk to people, because i comment on their posts. interacting in comments is easier for me than interacting in 140 caracteres, because, as you’ve noticed already, i like to write a lot. so, basically, twitter feels like a nightmare: not enough space to share my thoughts, so i can be misunderstood easily; and a huge pressure to talk to people.
    even when i took part on twitter chats, i’d be screaming offline. i got so anxious! if the book chat happened at night, i’d spend the entire day thinking about it. and even though i know that book chats are a great way to meet new people and, therefore, grow your blog, i don’t think i can do it anymore, because of how anxious it makes me feel.
    basically: being an online introvert is STRESSFUL. haahah. (sorry for the long comment, btw!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. oh my god, so this is actually called ‘online introvert’? okay, now i know how to label myself 😀

      i have little to zero problems with twitter (well, ofc except for 140 characters limit), since i recently merged whatever i love doing there, not only bookish stuff, and i have some ppl to chat with 🙂 although i don’t participate in blog tours or book chats because i know it’d be very emotionally exhausting for me…

      i’m really glad i stopped thinking of my blogging stats. now i think i can even post once in two weeks and not feel guilty about it 😀


  2. I completely understand this because I go through this too! I do love the bookstagram community but also… do I really care about all the likes and the follows? It feels so artificial if I did.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I get more anxious when I realize that I haven’t been active for a good while, and like… “How should I even make a comeback??” “What should I write about??”, and such stuff.
      Clearly people should remember that whatever they’re doing must be for its own pleasure first, then for the sake of stats…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah exactly! Pleasure and one’s own good-being before stats! I’m active on insta, but I don’t post as often as I probably should haha

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, I totally feel you on this! I used to be on bookstagram, but quit, and the main reason why was because it was too much! Taking lots of photos was time I didn’t have, and social interaction was sometimes so annoying. I felt like I was talking to a wall, and then there were days where I just didn’t feel like it!

    I know that with Twitter, I always feel self-conscious about what I’m Tweeting and that nobody cares and everyone is secretly annoyed at me! Which is dumb, but that’s what social anxiety makes you feel like! Losing so many followers on Instagram and gaining so few really bothered me, even though I’m sure it bothers no one else! 😂

    (Also, your graphics are so pretty gah! 😍)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gosh, I’m so sorry for late reply, I’m currently being off from blogging cause of a reading slump + not really want to only fill blog with k-pop related stuff so I barely go here…

      My twitter is currently a full mess, I used to have two account to separate bookish stuff from everything else, but as I’m being on web twitter more than mobile (thus, switching between accounts is a headache), I basically spammed my acc with more k-pop than books 😦 And just lately I decided to deactivate my original account and stay with ‘bookish’ for easier management.

      I’m that kind of person that can be non-stop active for a week, and then disappear for a good month with no trace. My energy restoring time is too long, I guess 😦

      And thanks! Glad you like my graphics here 😀

      Liked by 1 person

I'd love to hear your opinions!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s