It’s time to give a proper explanation on whatever is happening to my bookworm life, and why I’m such a slow ass in updating my blog with bookish related stuffs.
(this draft has been rotting for awhile, to be honest /sigh/)
So, currently I’m going through another wave of depression caused by things I cannot speak out because, you know, it’s called personal, but the fact is, I’m feeling very unmotivated, exhausted and I literally desire nothing but being left alone.
Actually, the current situation between and within specific K-pop group fandoms is partially another reason for me being so isolated from bookish world, but I’ll try not to talk about it.
The worst part is that, I actually enjoy being isolated from all of this, although it pressures me that I can’t find myself motivated to do things I usually love doing EVERYTIME EVERYWHERE (put Nation’s Sons – NEVER as a BGM, plz). Also since I’ve been living alone for a while (4 years during university studies, and now 2 years for work), I got used to not talking to anyone and hence, sharing whatever inner problems I have, even with the best friend, not even mentioning family. I got so used to keeping everything to myself I don’t even have the desire to look for communication. The second I get home, I lie on the bed and just stare at the ceiling, having endless thoughts but not being able to connect them with each other or even transforming them into words to write. I got so lazy I don’t even know how to motivate myself.
I’ve been so behind my blogging schedules due to lack of motivation, and also due to remembering that my blog is dedicated to books in the first place (which can’t be seen recently due to decreased reading speed and amount of books read and huge amount of k-pop related content), I decided I’d rather be on some sort of hiatus rather than ruining the blog with music contents only.
Gosh, I already screwed my twitter so hard I need to define what to do with it
Anyways, all I wanted to say that I’m definitely not abandoning my book blog or bookstagram, but only deciding to run it at my pleasant speed and with much less pressure of _always_updating_new_books_i_can’t_get_’cause_i_live_at_the_world’s_end_. Considering how I can’t read at the light speed, I don’t see any reason I have to be updating twice a day on books I never know when I’ll get to read them or being way too stressed over new releases. Currently I have a considerably big collection of books with lots of yet to read titles, so I think I rather focus on finishing them first before piling myself with even more pressure. I hope you can understand.
By the way, I already started cleaning up my twitter, so everyone following me there for _only_ K-pop related tweets please follow me back at @neo_ttaemune, as I’d like to keep @liliananbookish solemnly for bookish purposes 🙂
Thanks for your attention!